top of page
Search

Are Your Values Guiding You or Guarding You?

Writer's picture: Laura PrescottLaura Prescott

Yep, that's 19-year-old me
Yep, that's 19-year-old me

If you had asked me about my values in my 20s, I probably would’ve rattled off a list like: loyalty, reliability, independence, equality, dependability. They sounded like strong, respectable values.


But here’s the thing: I didn’t actually know myself very well back then. Most of my 20s were spent reacting to my emotions, beliefs, and whatever was going on around me, and ultimately living in that survival space of seeking pleasure, avoiding pain and conserving energy. I was in a constant state of protection. I didn’t have the awareness or tools to reflect deeply or ask myself the bigger questions about who I was and what really mattered to me.


Looking back, I can see that I wouldn’t have been choosing those values because they lit me up or guided me forward. I was choosing them because they felt like armor.


I would’ve said I valued loyalty—but really, I was seeking the protection of loyalty because I was scared of getting hurt in relationships. I would’ve said I valued reliability—but deep down, I was just trying to avoid being let down, to keep myself safe from disappointment. My so-called ‘values’ weren’t about growing into the best version of myself.


They were about self-preservation.


It’s easy to mistake armor for values, especially when life feels unpredictable or messy. You choose words that feel safe, that make you feel strong, secure, or untouchable. But when your values come from a place of fear, they don’t guide you—they confine you.


Values should feel like an open door, not a locked gate. They should guide you toward the life you want to live, not keep you guarded from the life you’re afraid of. I think living your true values usually requires a level of vulnerability. It’s not always comfortable, and it’s not always easy.


Take connection, for example. Of all my top five values—adventure, health, compassion, connection, and challenge—connection feels the most vulnerable. When I think about living a life guided by connection, I know it requires me to drop the defenses, to open myself up to other people, and to be real. That can feel scary. It means I have to regulate my emotions, be thoughtful in my actions, and make myself available to get hurt.


But living into my values in is where the magic happens. No risk, no reward as they say.


The values that really light you up aren’t the ones that protect you from getting hurt—they’re the ones that help you step into your full potential, even when it feels a little scary.


The truth is, living into your true values is uncomfortable at times. It requires you to be brave and open, to let go of the armor you’ve built around yourself. But when you do, you create space for deeper connection, more authenticity, and the kind of growth that will absolutely light you up.


You don’t have to protect yourself from life—you’re not fragile. In fact, when you allow yourself to live in alignment with your values, you become more resilient, more powerful, and more of who you’re meant to be.


So, as you reflect on your own values, ask yourself: Are they guiding you forward, or are they holding you back? Are they protecting you from pain, or opening you up to a richer, fuller experience of life?


The magic is in the vulnerability. The magic is in letting your values truly guide you, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel at times.


That’s what makes life feel like an adventure.



3 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Commentaires


Thanks for subscribing!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
bottom of page