Yesterday, I was working on a workshop outline and kept thinking "I just want to feel clarity around this." I continued writing, crossing out sentences and rewriting them, getting more and more frustrated. But that thought kept popping into my mind.
I took a sip of my sparkling water and a deep breath and it dawned on me. I know how to create a feeling of clarity.
Feelings are created by thoughts.
The story I had been telling myself about my outline was that I didn't know where to start. I didn't know what order to put the information in, and that inner narrative was making me feel frustrated.
Was it really true that I didn't know where to start?
The little toddler in my mind was just throwing a temper tantrum. She didn't want to spend time and effort on this, she wanted to scroll instagram.
I got a fresh piece of paper and wrote at the top: I know the steps and how to teach them because I've done this exact process in my own life.
As I wrote, of course other thoughts crept in, but I just referred to the note at the top of the page to bring me back.
So many of us want to look outside of ourselves to change the way we feel inside. We think we need to learn more, buy more, make more money or take more vacations. We think we need to change our careers, co-workers, family members or partners so we can feel less stressed and more connected.
If you want to feel better, you have to think better thoughts.
Thoughts that feel terrible:
-I don’t know where to start.
-I can’t do this.
-I’ll never be able to…
-This is too hard…
-Something always goes wrong.
-I’m such a procrastinator.
-Nothing is working.
Thoughts that feel good:
-I’ve come a long way.
- I can learn.
-The next thing I’d like to try is…
-This feels hard right now, but will get easier with practice.
-I’m really good at…
-I have the tools to handle this.
The purpose of thinking better isn’t to be positive all of the time, it’s to be intentional, rather than feeling like you’re at the mercy of your own mind.